


Oh Dear, I Dread, I Seem To Have Lost My Head

by Catbunblue302



Series: Whump for Bunnies [22]
Category: Team Fortress 2
Genre: Body Horror, Gen, Gore, Soldier is READY to protect and help his team, Whumptober, headless Spy
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-25
Updated: 2021-01-25
Packaged: 2021-03-17 11:14:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,305
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28973415
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Catbunblue302/pseuds/Catbunblue302
Summary: Spy's been missing. Sniper is alarmed when his headless body turns up on his doorstep. Pyro is helpful.
Series: Whump for Bunnies [22]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1949197
Comments: 8
Kudos: 18





	Oh Dear, I Dread, I Seem To Have Lost My Head

**Author's Note:**

> Better late then never hey?
> 
> Not much whump in this chapter but there will be in subsequent chapters.

It took three days for Spy’s body to turn up.

It was Sniper that found it. The headless corpse was sitting in the dirt, leaning against Sniper’s van, where it distinctly had not been the night before. Sniper almost jumped out of his skin seeing it there.

“Damn.” Sniper took off his hat and ran his hand through his hair.

Had RED put it there? What for? Was it supposed to be some sort of threat? How long had Spy been dead? It can’t have been long, otherwise his body would’ve disintegrated as respawn picked him up.

At that thought Sniper tensed. If the RED team had put the corpse there then they couldn’t be far off. Sniper pressed his back to his camper and looked around warily. Sand, rocks, some scraggly bushes. No sign of any REDs.

Still, he remained on edge. He went back inside to grab his kukri and that made him feel a little better. His boots sent up little billowing clouds of sand as they hit the ground and Sniper noticed something… off. The wind had been howling last night, erasing any footprints. So Sniper expected to see a few sets of prints from the REDs who had delivered the body. But there was only one set. Spy’s.

Sniper crouched to get a better look. The sand was too grainy to hold the shape very well but it was definitely Spy’s print. Nobody else wore fancy shoes. Or had feet that small.

The prints weren’t very far apart and in places they overlapped, as if Spy was stumbling along blind and drunk. Sniper could spot at least two places where he’d fallen from here.

It must have been the RED Spy, Sniper decided. Even though the tracks came from the battlefield and not the RED base. It was the only option that made sense. The bloke couldn’t very well have chopped his own head off.

Sniper got up. It was weird but his whole life was weird. Eventually Spy would respawn anyways and he’d hear the whole story then. He started walking towards the base.

Wait.

Was that movement?

Was Spy’s corpse moving?

It was slight but he could have sworn the headless, bloody, clearly dead Frenchman was breathing.

Gingerly, Sniper came closer. Without thinking on whether or not it was a good idea he slowly reached out to touch Spy’s chest. He was warm. And breathing. Definitely breathing.

Spy’s hand was around his wrist.

There were many things Sniper had dealt with in his weird job. Dead not-dead headless coworkers were not one of them.

He shrieked, a fact he would later mention to no one, and fell back in the sand. He stared like a frightened rabbit as the very much not a corpse tried to find him. Spy groped out blindly, the stump of his neck moving in a way that made Sniper’s stomach turn. Eventually the Frenchman gave up and slumped back against the camper.

There was a long period where neither men moved.

Sniper broke the silence. 

“Spy?” He asked quietly.

Spy didn’t react. It took a few seconds for it to click with Sniper why. Spy didn’t have a head. He couldn’t hear or see him.

Sniper figured he should take Spy or what was left of him inside and hope someone smarter than him knew what to do.

Sniper approached Spy again and touched his arm gently so Spy knew he was there. Spy jumped. He moved his hand to Sniper’s and insistently tapped the back of his hand, apparently ensuring he had the marksman’s attention. Then he brought his hands together and slowly, letter-by-letter spelled out:

H - E - L - P

“Workin’ on it.” Sniper grumbled.

He hauled Spy up by his armpits and set him on his feet. He guided Spy’s hands to his arm and led him along the short path to the BLU base. On the way there they both discovered some things. Spy discovered a rock, and then promptly the ground. Sniper discovered it was possible to glare without a head.

It was still early when they got to the common room. Engineer was the only one awake, quietly drinking coffee and leafing through a folder.

“Oi Engie.”

“Mornin’ slim.” Engineer said, without looking up.

“Engie.” Sniper repeated, insistent.

“What- Holy mother of- Aghhhh fuck!” Engineer jumped, knocking his mug over and spilling hot coffee over his lap.

“You okay mate? Need me to get the doc?”

“What is that?” Engineer ignored Sniper’s questions.

“Spy.”

“Where’s his head?”

“Dunno.”

Engineer came over and examined Spy, grabbing him by the lapels of his jacket and pulling him down so he could look at the bloody stump of his neck. Clearly it didn’t bother him as much as it sickened Sniper. There was just something about the fact that it moved and pulsed that made him feel ill.

Spy tugged on the Engineer's sleeve and signed ‘help’ out again.

Engineer patted his shoulder comfortingly. “Don’t worry spook. We’ll getcha fixed up soon.” And then to Sniper: “I’m goin’ ta wake up the Doc.”

Sniper nodded and moved so Engineer could go by him. He led Spy to one of the couches and gently pushed him onto it. He left Spy for a moment to pour himself a cup of coffee. When he came back Spy’s arms were crossed and his foot was tapping impatiently. 

When Engineer returned it was with the rest of the team minus Scout and Demo. Heavy grimaced at the headless body. Soldier was quiet for once in his life and Medic looked more interested than alarmed. Pyro clapped their hands with glee and ran over to their friend. They didn’t seem to notice his lack of a head.

Spy jumped when Pyro jumped on him, flailing about until he realized Pyro wasn’t going to hurt him. He patted Pyro’s back awkwardly.

“What do we do?” Heavy turned to Medic, deferring to the doctor.

Medic shrugged. “Without his head… I’m not sure. Soldier, stop that.”

Soldier was poking the stump of Spy’s neck. Soldier did a good job of at least pretending to look guilty. Pyro had let go of Spy and was sitting beside him on the couch.

Before Soldier had a chance to step away Spy grabbed his sleeve and tugged on it. Like before he spelled ‘help’.

“Where did you leave your head? I will go get it! Even if I have to fight my way through the entire continent of Germany!” Soldier announced.

“Don’t think he can hear ya mate.” Sniper said.

No one said anything about Soldier’s geography. Everyone had long since given up at that endeavor.

“Engineer! You are smart! Fix it!”

“I’m thinkin’, son.”

“Maybe kill Spy? Respawn could fix it.” Heavy suggested.

“Ooh! Good idea, meine freund!” Medic exclaimed.

Engineer rubbed the back of his head. “I don’t know if that’s such a good plan, partner. If respawn thinks he’s dead right now then it might never spit ‘im back out again.”

“Mein gott, can I not look away for one second?” Medic snapped.

Pyro looked up from where they were kneeling by Spy’s feet. His gloves were on the floor and Pyro was holding one of his hands, their finger poised over the top of it.

“What are you doin’, firebug?” Engie asked.

Rather than try to explain Pyro gestured them over. When everyone had come close enough Pyro showed them. They were tracing letters onto the back of Spy’s hand.

W - H - A - T

They tapped his hand twice and then started again.

H - A - P - P - E - N - E - D

Spy took his hand back and spelled;

R - E - P - E - A - T

It took a couple more repetitions before Spy finally understood and answered.

R - E - D - H - A - S - M - Y - H - E - A - D

**Author's Note:**

> I WILL finish this prompt list if it kills me. Also not edited yet. Very sleepy can't be bothered rn
> 
> If anyone's interested in my plan I intend to finish this list and then go back and rewrite some of the earlier stories I don't particularly like and I'll finish/add chapters to the stories as I go


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